Wedding Etiquette Extends to Vendors

There are so many things to think about when planning your wedding  that proper wedding etiquette can sometimes be overlooked.  A wedding planner can assist with crossing all the t’s and dotting all the i’s, but if you don’t have a planner, it is a good idea to purchase a wedding etiquette book or do lots of on-line research.   You will find all the information that you need with regard to when to seat your mom and grandmother pre-ceremony, or how to properly address your invitations. 

I would like to add an etiquette tip to the list.  Consider your vendors!  When you make an appointment with them, be sure to keep it!  If you can’t make it, or need to reschedule, be considerate by calling them.   They have set aside their valuable time just for you.  How would you feel if they stood you up?  You could have scheduled another vendor during that time slot.  That’s exactly how they feel.  They could have scheduled another bride or groom during the time they had set aside for you. 

I once had a P.E. teacher who said such actions were “rude, crude, and socially unacceptable”.  I used to laugh at that as a teen.  I now clearly see her point.  Your vendors will bend over backwards to exceed your expectations.  All it takes to get them in your corner is to show some respect and etiquette.  Your efforts will be rewarded.

Emily Post Etiquette Books

Elegala

Brides

Hire Professionals for Your Wedding

Tricias Bridal & Pageant,  submitted these stories from her experiences with brides on a quest to save money:

 “I have a friend who’s doing my photography.  She is not a professional or anything, but I think she’ll do a great job.  She promised to provide me all the shots on a disc for a small fee and I can print whatever I like. “   Let me tell you how that money-saving deal turned out. The last time I talked to the bride, they had received three discs with the pictures.  One of them worked–sort of. While disc number one had a few images, the other two were completely blank. This money-saving deal turned out to be quite disappointing.  The wedding is now just memories; the special moments are preserved in the minds of those who attended.  There are no wonderful pictures that capture the poignant moments.

“I’m buying a bridal gown from a ‘Big Box’ store to save money.”  Currently, I’m re-designing–to the best of my ability–a gown that was purchased at a “Big Box” store with the reassurance from the sales associate that it was a unique gown. It was unique until it showed up in an advertising promotion plastered all over bridal magazines and the “Big Box” website! 

“I’m printing my own invitations to save money”, or “my great-aunt-Susie Q is having my invitations printed as a gift”.  I’ve seen variations on how this project turned out.  The latest was one  whose invitations were worded incorrectly, and the return address was on the bottom of the envelope back, not on the back flap!

The invitation sets the tone for the wedding, whether formal or informal, so convey this by choosing an appropriate invitation.  Remember to have an addressed, and completed invitation weighed at the post office, to  be sure that you affix adequate postage.  One bride wondered why she wasn’t receiving any RSVPs.  It was because nobody received and invitation, and she had failed to put a return address on them.  And please don’t forget to put stamps on the respond envelopes! It is a breach of etiquette to ask your invitees to purchase their own postage.

“I don’t need anyone to coordinate or direct my wedding.”  Unless you want your special day to look like a three-ring circus with no ringmaster, find an experienced, professional director/coordinator to take care of the details, establish a wedding-day itinerary, and make sure everyone is aware of where they need to be and when. A wedding procession should run like a well-oiled machine–not like a fire drill.

 What I’m trying to say is leave it to the professionals!  Your wedding day should be an enjoyable experience–not a nightmare that requires survival skills!’ ~ Tricia Edwards

Wedding Bloopers

Hours are spent planning a wedding, but no matter how much planning one puts into assuring that their day goes smoothly, it’s the things that aren’t planned that make the best memories.  These videos depict some unexpected occurrences at the wedding.

The best advice I can give any bride or groom, is to be flexible, because no matter what goes right or wrong about your special day, by the end of it you will still be married!

 

Weddings Need a Statement Piece

Fresh flowers are expensive!  If your favorite flowers are cost prohibitive to use everywhere in your wedding, or if your budget doesn’t allow for flowers on your guest tables, consider having one statement piece at your reception.  Place the arrangement in the room, so as your guests enter the room, it will draw their eye.  The buffet is often a great place to have such an arrangement. 

Though this arrangement was used on guest tables, it is an example of something that would work well as a statement piece.  The special lighting accents are what make it stand out in a crowd:

www.richardminkphotography.com

 

Including fruit in the buffet centerpiece is a lovely way to compliment the food.

 

Your wedding cake can also double as a focal point of the reception hall.  Everyone looks for the cake, so why not highlight it!

This cake was done by www.susiesweddingcakes.com

Photography by www.advancedphoto.com

 

 

 There are many ways to save money on decorations for your wedding.  With a little thought and ingenuity, you can have a knock-out reception without breaking your piggy bank.

Vintage Glam Wedding

We generally have an  all-or-none policy; meaning that if you contract with us to do your decor and flowers, we do both the ceremony and the reception.  The reason for this is that if someone asks “Who did your flowers?”, we get credit for our work, and not that of someone elses.  A case en point.  We did the flowers for a lovely outdoor wedding.  Without our knowledge, a relative of the bride added a cheap, garden arch with pink, yellow, and white tulle and plastic flowers all over it.  She also wrapped bushes and shrubbery in tulle.  It looked like little ghosts randomly dotted all over the field.  We made sure she got ALL the credit for her creation!

My name is on our product and floral design, so it’s important that I know any additions that a friend or family is planning to make.  We want consistency in quality, color, and design.  So, it was out of the norm for me to agree to let Meredith do her own reception.  I did so without hesitation or reservation, because I knew her mom, and knew it would be tastefully done.

Meredith wanted a vintage look for her wedding ceremony, and an Old Hollywood Glamour look for her reception.  The centerpieces that she wanted could easily be a DIY project for her. and could be made in advance for convenience and time management, plus she saved $$ in labor cost.  She should be very proud of her efforts, because they turned out fantastic!  She made the Ostrich feather centerpieces, and added the special effects lights, inside the Eiffel Tower Vases.

The wedding ceremony was held at Meredith’s church, First Broad Street United Methodist Church (far right in photo), in Kingsport, TN.  The church is a historic church, located on Kingsport’s famed Church Circle.  The circle has four churches on it.  The 4th church, shown in the second photo, is now a Fine Arts Center.

Church Circle

 

Autumn at Church Circle

 

Meredith’s colors were purple and green.  Sometimes purple flowers will photograph a lot darker than they actually are, but most of these in the slide show below are pretty accurate.  We pay attention to detail.  Notice the jewels inside the calla lilies.  We also added jewels to the greenery on the pew markers.  Also in the bridal bouquet, are Bouquet Jewels.  The window vase, at the church, is accented with wire swirls.

 

Purple is becoming more popular with brides for 2010.  Bling in the bouquet, and on the stems, is still hot as well.

Photography: Brooke Roberts Photography ,from Brunswick, GA

 

Cake: Gayle Bogart, Kingsport, TN

 

Church and Bridal Party Flowers: Pamela’s Exclusive Floral & Event Design, Kingsport, TN

 

Reception: Ridgefields Country Club

 

Meredith and Jansen

Favor Your Wedding Guests

Guest favors add the finishing touch on any event.  There are so many fun choices. If you haven’t discovered Etsy, then take time to visit there.  It is a great resource for brides, and for shopping in general.  You can find everything from furniture, housewares, and woodworking, to purses, needlework, and everything in between.  Most items are handcrafted, so are one of a kind.  I found these very kewl lip balms there. 

Flavored Lip Balm

 

The sweet scent of these soaps will linger long after the wedding.

Scented Soaps

Both men and women will like this organic take-home; a heart shaped bird feeder. 

Orangic Bird Feeder

I particularly like the idea of this plantable heart.  You can use as a place card, or as a tag on the favor.  The guests will be sure to remember you, when their wildflowers start to bloom.

Wildflower Seed Plantables

With just a little thought and some preparation, you can have custom wedding favors, too.  There are so many ideas onEtsy, and other wedding blogs.  Some of my personal favorites are:

Style Me Pretty

 

The Ritzy Bee

 

June Bug Weddings

 

Wedding Bee

 

Be Spoke, A White Box Blog

 

Bride Tide

 

Southern Weddings

 

Polka Dot Bride

 

 

Ugly, Ugly, Bridesmaids Dresses

Have you ever gone through your parents wedding album and laughed at the styles, way back then?  Or, flipped through a high school annual to realize that the clothes you wore, and thought were so hot, are subject to peals of laughter?

I can tell you that I have seen my share of ugly bridesmaids dresses!  I know someone who has been a bridesmaid seventeen times, and she can tell you that very few of those dresses were a flattering style, or a pretty color.  I found this image at Three Times a Bridesmaid.  This 80’s style dress didn’t look much better on the actual bridesmaids!

It’s easy to find dresses like these.  You can probably look in your closet and bring out two or three.  I don’t know what comes over brides!  These normally very chic and hip, fashion conscious divas, lose all sense of reason and style when it comes to selecting the formal wear for their attendants.  This isn’t always true, of course, but even if they choose a great color, the style isn’t flattering to all body types.  The moans, the groans, the rolling of eyes that I have heard and seen from these young ladies, is sad.  To add insult to injury, they are asked to pay some outrageous price for a dress they will wear only once…begrudgingly. 

Brides, forget about choosing a dress that they can “wear again”.  It isn’t going to happen!  Do, however, be conscientious of their pocket books.  Young brides have lots of young friends. They all get married around the same time.  It gets expensive to be in a lot of weddings!  By the time your attendant buys the dress, shoes, travels, and buys you a gift, they are into your wedding by several hundred dollars.  More than likely, they have just started a new job, new marriage, or had a baby.  They do not have a lot of discretionary income.  Keep that in mind. 

Oops, I started chasing a rabbit there.  Back on topic, I started looking for dresses in current catalogs.  Don’t get me wrong, I would have a hard time choosing from all of the truly amazing gowns available.  I did find a few that I felt will be viewed in a few years as “What was she thinking?” dresses.  Granted it all comes down to personal taste, but here are my choices for ugly NEW dresses:

 

This poor bride looks like the crochet needle is stuck in her back!  Much like Scarlett O’Hara, when she made the dress from the green drapes, this designer obviously grabbed the tablecloth!

Ahhh, the blousson!  I’m sorry, I know this is a trendy style, but it won’t be around for long.  Once again, I believe that this was once the window treatment in a little girl’s room.  At least it doesn’t have a big butt-bow, and the shoes are cute.

Oh my!  Mary, Mary quite contrary, where does your garden grow?  Around your neck!

That I find these dresses ugly, is neither here nor there.  As I said, it is a personal taste thing.  I will say that while they are not my faves, they aren’t inappropriate.  This is another consideration, when choosing your or your attendants dresses.  Make sure that they are appropriate. 

 Through my scavengering around on the web, I came across this most inappropriate wedding dress.  If I were the florist for

that wedding, the bouquet would be wide and cascading and would strap onto the bride, around her waist.

 

Don’t embarrass yourself and your guests by overexposing yourself.

Who let this poor girl out of the house, or dressing room for that matter, looking like this? Why didn’t her mother, or friend, or bridal consultant tell her this would not be good for her?  Now, her wedding picture is all over the Internet.  I doubt that is what she wanted. 

When you go to select dresses, take one or two people with you, whose opinions you trust.  It can save you time and money, and your attendants a whole lot of sleep.

If you were amused by this post, you might also like Ugly Dress

How to Choose a Wedding Dress

Hallie Muse Mahala

We’ve all seen the poorly fitted wedding gowns; the bulge hanging over the back, the cinched in waist, that creates unflattering spillage  in other places.  Or, the strapless gown that gaps at the bust of the less endowed bride.  So it seemed befitting, pardon the pun, to invite a professional, who specializes in fitting wedding gowns, to offer some advice to you for choosing your wedding gown.  Tricia Edwards owns a bridal salon.  She also sews wedding and bridesmaids dresses.  It’s to her that I defer for her expertise.

“It’s your day, your dream, your dress.  Finding “the dress” should be a fun experience–not something akin to Chinese water torture! As a bridal shop owner, here are some tips to assist you as you begin shopping for that perfect gown:

• Choose a bridal salon that is welcoming, helpful and honest; check the policies of each shop you plan to visit.  Most salons require appointments so you can receive all the attention you deserve. Some salons limit the number of gowns you may try on during one appointment; others will allow as many try-ons as necessary.  Sometimes a brides finds “the” gown in the first two or three choices.  Other brides may try on ten or more gowns before they find “the” gown.  Nothing is more frustrating then to be told everything looks absolutely wonderful when you know better. 

 

• Certain styles look better on certain body types.  A knowledgeable bridal consultant will be able to steer you toward flattering styles.  There are empire waistlines for those who don’t have an hourglass figure, and basque or dropped waistlines for those that have a relatively small waistline but need some help defining that area.  A-line skirts are flattering on most body-types–just make sure it doesn’t fit too snugly through the hipline. 

 

•  Think about the ceremony itself, but also the greeting, hugging, sitting, eating, and dancing.  Certainly a bridal gown isn’t going to be the most comfortable garment you’ve ever worn, but neither should it make you miserable. 

 

• Quality is imperative; a bodice must be heavily boned and interlined for support. 

 

• Also, remember that bridal shop owners have thousands of dollars invested in the gowns that you are trying, so please be respectful of the merchandise and treat it with care. 

 

•  Always ask about payment policies, layaway opportunities, alterations, etc. as the policies at each salon are different. 

 

• Find a consultant who knows her stuff, who communicates well, and who really, really listens to your concerns. 

 

• Buy the size you currently wear, allowing a little room for alterations.  Do NOT buy a size smaller, hoping that you will fit into it by your wedding day.  It’s easier to take in the seams than to add a panel!

 

•  Above all, enjoy your shopping experience.  Take only one or two people with you.  Too many opinions will only confuse you.  One or two people who will tell you what they really think will be more helpful to you.”

Happy Shopping!

Tricia Edwards, Owner

Tricia’s Bridal and Pageant , located in Ft. Blackmore, VA.

Photography by Julie Roberts Photography, Knoxville, TN

Libby and Jason